Spouses often like to put distance between each other after a divorce. Irreconcilable differences may have played out in court during the proceedings. After the divorce decree is issued, either of the partners might want to relocate far away, possibly to another state, to avoid meeting the other partner or to pursue new opportunities. However, even if you have sole custody in Oklahoma, you can only relocate within 75 miles of your primary residence without notifying your ex.
If you are moving with your children beyond 75 miles of your primary residence, you must get the approval of your ex or the court. If your spouse does not object to the move, you can come to a revised visitation agreement, which should be done formally in writing. Talking to your ex before officially notifying them of your intended move can improve the chances of him or her agreeing to your move. And before you talk to your former spouse, consider checking in with your Oklahoma City child custody lawyer to be sure your conversation works in your best interests and those of your child.
What Happens if Your Ex Rejects Your Move?
If your ex objects to your intended move, the matter goes to court. Courts will approve the move if you have a valid reason for moving and are doing so in good faith. Legitimate reasons include:
• Getting a better paying job.
• Moving to an area with a lower cost of living.
• Moving to be near relatives who can help with child care.
• Moving to continue with education.
If the court finds that the move is being made in bad faith such as to punish an ex, it will disallow relocation. The custodial parent may be instructed by the court to pay the attorney’s fees of the other parent when the motive for moving is not right.
When the move is made in good faith, such as to take up a better job, the other parent can still raise a valid objection. Such objections include not being able to afford the airfare to fly the children to and from the state to which the parent with sole custody in Oklahoma wants to move. The court can order the custodial parent to pay their airfare to and from the other state or it can forbid the move.
The court can also forbid a move if it is not deemed to serve the best interests of the children.
The court considers the following when determining if a move is allowed:
• The relationships the children have with their other parent, uncles, aunts, and other significant people.
• The developmental stage of the children and their age.
• How possible it is to maintain the children’s visitation with their other parent.
• What the children prefer.
• If the relocation will enhance the general quality of life of the children and the parent who currently holds sole custody in Oklahoma.
Before the matter of your relocation goes to court, you and your former partner can seek mediation with a neutral third party. It is better if you and your ex can agree out of court. Children, particularly young ones, suffer when their parents fight things out in court.
How to Inform the Other Parent of an Intended Move
When you decide to move more than 75 miles from your primary residence, you will need to inform your ex of the intended move. You can tell your ex by writing a letter, which they must receive at least 60 days before you make the move.
If you were not aware that you must inform your former spouse of such a move, you must notify him or her no later than 10 days after you learn of this requirement.
The notice letter to your ex must include all the information about your new home. Such information includes the address of your new residence, your mailing address if it is different from the home address, and the telephone number of your new home. The day of the intended move must also be included, the reasons for relocating, and a proposed child visitation schedule.
It is for the best if you inform your former spouse of your intended move. Failure to follow due process to tell them could result in them seeking the intervention of the court.
The court could rule that you return the children. You could be held for contempt or you could be charged with kidnapping.
Talk About Relocation with Your Children
Sit down with your children and discuss your intended move with them. Children may not take leaving behind the familiar and starting a new life elsewhere very well.
Reassure them that the move is in their best interests and that they will continue to have time with their other parent. Briefing and reassuring the children will make it easier for them to handle the relocation.
Confidential Consultation: Oklahoma City Child Custody Attorney
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